There was every reason to forget you..

Life is weird, it’s quite weird sometimes that you completely fall in its trap. People say that everything happens for a reason but this time I couldn't figure out that very reason for you to walk into my life all of a sudden like a gush of a wind.

It’s almost five years now, the day I first saw you till the day I last saw you, all the memories are still fresh inside my heart. It’s as if they happened a while ago. My agony, my longing for you have built a house inside my heart which was hard to break. It was rock solid and I decided to move on remembering you every single day. Days passed, years passed, yet you don’t have a slightest inkling of the fact of how much I love you and how much I want you in my life. For all, I have kept that as a secret in my little heart bearing the pain alone.

You will never know how much I longed for you, yes, I love you but it was what my heart felt and not yours. I don’t blame you for not understanding me because few relations wither away and few facts are buried deep inside one’s heart which would never explode no matter how hard it is to bear.

Then comes another blow which hit me really hard, for you it was just nothing but for me it was everything. It could have been a new beginning, a new start to my fallen feelings whom you have woken up but life tricks you at every juncture reminding you not to be happy. This is a lesson I’m going to teach you and stop wandering in your dreams.

Yes, it did warn me but I ignored it, I started liking this freshness and completely fell for it, then I see the freshness slowly fading away.  I see myself going away with my imagination leading to a road where I once stopped. A point, which led me to nowhere, all I wanted was my questions to be answered and I’m left with unanswered questions now.

How could I let this happen with me again! I forgot, something’s are not planned, they just happen and that very fact snatched away the world beneath me, it once again succeeded in making a total fool out of me.
Now, I laugh at you-life!

For you have won the game and I lost it to you, I wish I could lash out at you, scream at you and get my answers. But I’m no more what I’m.

Insane is what I feel, Insanity is what I cry for. A foul cry which can’t be heard, I’m a shallow soul, which is beyond repair.

For all I wanted is you to be mine!

Now, that there’s every reason to forget you. I move on…

Tale of a Mother!

There lived a young, beautiful women named ‘Priya’ in her teens full of confidence and brightness in her eyes. She was around 17 and had always heard her heart out. She lived life on her own terms as there’s no one who can stop her from chasing her dreams.

Girls are fragile, they are beautiful and they are nature’s wonderful creation. Every girl has numerous dreams when it comes to finding the one!

There came a day, when this lady’s fate and life was going to change forever. Unlike others, she was never afraid of anything. She was ready to face the biggest fact that she was going to get married and had her own apprehensions too.

They decided upon getting her married to a guy named ‘Pankaj’.

The guy happened to be her paternal aunt’s son. He was devastated about the death of his mother and since he had already lost his father, he was on the verge of taking up hermitage. Looking at his condition and the wild storm that he’s carrying in his heart, everyone was worried and thought of getting him married to a responsible girl. And they found one in this young lady.

He could manage to get a job in a Government Organization and was well paid too.

I always wonder how parent-child relationship were at in ancient India, as we know the families were so conservative and the girl child is rarely blessed with a family who allows her to fulfill all her dreams and how they wouldn't care to seek the girl’s opinion before getting her married to an absolute stranger though her family know him.

It was rather different in this case, her father adored his kid and asked of her opinion before they could get her married and she is very much aware of the 10 year age gap between them. All was fine; until the guy showed up saying that he was interested in her sister, the young lady’s world was taken aback and was aghast at the guy’s interest. Having learned his intentions, her elder sister had informed her parents about her disapproval towards marrying that guy. 

Priya’s sister didn't want to get married to Pankaj and Pankaj on the other hand was now comfortable in getting married to Priya when he came to know about her elder sister’s disapproval. Priya, who witnessed everything that was happening in front her and knowing the fact that Pankaj wanted to marry her sister, she approved and expressed the feeling that she wants to marry Pankaj.  But her worried parents pushed priya to know whether she really wants to marry him. Undeterred, Priya uttered another yes expressing her willingness to marry him.

What the hell was going on in her mind? If I were in her place, I wouldn't have told my parents, a yes.

But something else was going on in Priya’s mind. She was dreaming about all the wonderful things she could enjoy being with Pankaj. They could soon relocate to a city where he works and would buy a home for them and live happily with their children. Also, since their parents know Pankaj very well, there wouldn't be any problem with him. At this stage completely unaware of the fact that dreams sometimes how hard you may want them to become reality, some fail and fate changes the course of it.

Finally, the big day has come and she was all excited like every other girl. She was happily married to Pankaj and in the initial days of their marriage, Priya started feeling unhappy which was because of Pankaj living with their elder brother’s family and supporting them since his brother was no more. And yes, Pankaj had a younger brother as well. He got married after Pankaj married Priya.
It’s been more than 5 years that Pankaj and Priya had been married and they weren't blessed with a child.

In India, things like this are spread fast especially between families and people start considering the girl an “unfortunate soul” as a girl’s life is complete only after she becomes a mother.  This stigma still prevails in India both in Urban as well as in rural areas.  Priya’s hardships continued as everyone who got married after her were blessed with children. She had consulted many doctors and gynecologists for that matter. She completely avoided attending functions and was not interested in socializing. Like every women, this emptiness in her married life has started taking a toll on her. On the other hand, her husband started looking at their elder nephew’s and niece’s as his own and started showering love on them and priya felt helpless. She started seeking hope in the divine power and carried out as many pujas’ as possible but in vain!

At this very moment when everything was going out of control, an idea struck her, the idea of adopting a child and she wanted to adopt her sister’s child but very reluctant about the clan and his own blood, Pankaj refused and insisted upon adopting his brother’s third child who was a girl. She was beautiful and had twinkling eyes, both Pankaj and Priya started adoring her and she in turn started loving them. She was a month’s baby when they both adopted her and they named her ‘Shikha’.

Four years passed by, and a miracle indeed happened, all her prayers paid off and they were answered by blessing her with a daughter. Priya’s life was content now. She gave birth to a beautiful daughter and shikha started jumping around knowing the fact that she is now going to have a younger sister whom she can take care of and have fun with.  They named the younger one as “Sakshi”.

Although both Pankaj and Priya had a daughter of their own, they never over looked at their elder one nor were they biased, they loved her more than ever with all their heart and she was dearer to them, a most precious one.  The younger one was turning into a beautiful daughter, a mischievous one rather and she was unaware of the fact that her parents had adopted her sister before she was born.

It usually happens in tiny towns and villages where elderly people often spill the beans knowingly or unknowingly.  When Sakshi was around 4 years, Pankaj and Priya moved to city, so that it would be nearer to Pankaj’s office.

Often, for holidays, they used to take their daughters along with them to their hometown. Shikha was well acquainted to the atmosphere there but whereas sakshi couldn't mingle with each and every one.  She was a bit choosy about whom to talk and whom not to and whenever an elderly person met both the beautiful daughters, they used to adore them and take them in their arms but for some reason, they always used taunt saying that, hey this is your child, right? How rude can that be. For, sakshi didn't have any clue that her sister was her uncle’s daughter and that their parents have adopted her.  She loved her sister and was possessive about her.

Once, she cried out loud when she heard from an elderly person that shikha was not her sister and asked her parents was it true?  They calmed her down, but she went on crying and started shouting at whoever was present there, rather warned them in her clear throat that shikha is her sister and no matter who ever is involved in this foul play and bad mouthing to stay shut and not to speak a word.

Everybody was stunned at her reaction and sakshi didn't want to stay there and left along with her parents.

But they say it right, “We can’t hide Truth for long”.

Unfortunately, the day has come when sakshi got to know that shikha was not her sister! Her world came crashing down after she found out that this was indeed true. She felt like the earth beneath her is trembling and soon there is going to be an earthquake. She was falling apart and didn't know how to pull herself back. The worst part being she didn't want to share this with anyone, nor with her parents and neither with her sister.

It all happened when they were about to leave and sakshi noticed that her mom was speaking to someone using signs and by doing weird gestures and telling some old lay not to raise this topic in front of her kid.

She wanted to escape and her mother’s lap was the best place by making her think that she’s asleep. She heard her mother talking it which was hard on her to handle. She wept silently with the pain she was carrying in her heart and snuggled her mother tight. But priya was unaware of any of this.

They left early in the evening and from the time they boarded the bus till they reached home, she didn't say a word and was submerged in her own thoughts which for her seemed dreadful and not less than a nightmare!

Their parents are totally unaware of the fact that both their daughters know their secret !

Priya and Pankaj and their relationship have seen many ups and downs but were never biased when it came to their kids and gave equal importance, love and affection.

Its Priya who needs to be praised, it’s always true that, a mother unconditionally loves her children no matter whatever the situation is. Priya deserves all the happiness in the world and her two little daughters are her true reflection.

Thank you mother for your unconditional and ever dying love for us. 

I love you and nothing on earth can replace you!

Love you loads.

Thank you poo !